Tuesday, November 30, 2010

p.s. i love you

I'm so in love tonight.

In the midst of all of life's craziness I'm still smiling.

And that's all because of the sweet boy sleeping next to me.

So tonight's post script...
ten things I love about you parker b.

1. I love being "squash-ed" by you.
And I love the fact that you'll squish me anytime I ask you to.
It keeps me warm in our wintry apartment.

2. I love it when you try to bite my fingers when I touch your face.
You're like the puppy I keep wishing for but just can't have.
And seeing you set your jaw on edge with that little growl makes me laugh. every. single. time.
(this is a photo of little Aspen, my friend Aimee's puppy. isn't he just adorable?! I'm so jealous...)

3. I love it when I try to help you with your chemistry and realize how very little I remember.
Like this Sunday's chat about free radicals when you gasped in disbelief, "You don't know that?"
Then followed up your classic chem nerd comment by rapping,
"You are really dumb."
Sometimes you are really dumb.
And I think it's oh so hilarious.
(please excuse the cartoon's profanity. this was the only chem joke i could find that i still understood...)

4. I love that you love to cuddle me all. the. time.

5. I love that you help me sweep the snow off my car each morning.
And that you always clear a pathway for me to make my way there because you feel bad that we can't buy me boots.
Remember spending close to an hour on this baby while I stood to the side with a cup of salt?
Yeah...I loved you that day. so much.

6. I love that you kiss me goodbye every single morning,
even when I'm fast asleep.
I know I look silly when it takes me a good minute or two to open my sleepy eyes to see you off.
But I think you think it's cute.
And that makes me happy.

7. I love it that you still watch my wedding ring sparkle in the light whenever you hold my hand.
It reminds me of how much effort you put into finding it,
and designing it,
and keeping it a secret.
I think that's the best secret you've ever let me in on.
And whenever I see it sparkle, I can't help but smile too.

8. I love that you love letting me be a part of your biking world.
You love seeing me succeed and you're always so proud of me.
Even when it's something as simple as not endo-ing when going off a bitty boulder,
or standing up to keep from being bucked off my bike in the bumpy sections.
You make me feel "tuff."
And I like it.

9. I love watching you play with all your little nieces and nephews.
They love you.
And I love that they call you baby cakes now.
It makes me laugh.
You're going to be the best dad someday.

10. I loved it when I asked you in the car what you'd ever do if I died.
You told me you didn't want to think about it.
But then you did.
And you said,
"I don't know what I'd do.
This is once in a lifetime.
And there is no one else like you."

And then you held my hand.
And I tried really hard not to cry.
Because I feel just the same way about you.

Thanks for making life so wonderful sweetie.

I lov-a you mucho
and I always will.
P.S. I love how you say "miss you already" anytime we have to say goodbye.
You say it silly, but I know you mean it.
And that's why I love it.

And P.P.S. I just went to grab a glass of water and remembered
...there's more.
I love it when you fill up the water pitcher any time I forget.
I love when you let me sleep in your t-shirts.
And the way you feel when your face is scratchy.
And when it's so soft.
I love the way you message me and then sign off g-chat before I can respond just because you think it's funny.
And I love the way you look whenever you're fast asleep.
It's so sweet...

Gosh, I just love you too too much!
I could go on forever.
But I guess I won't.
Not now at least.

I'll likely add to this come morning.
But for now I'm signing off
so I can fall to sleep in your arms
and dream of the life that can't get any better than this.
Sweet dreams Parker B.
I'll see you in the morning.

the spirit of giving

I practically fell through the front door last night with all these little treasures in tow.
No sight of Parker's car on the curb meant the coast was clear.
I could tote it all inside and hide it.
Out of sight, out of mind.
They say ignorance is bliss!
I believe it...

Well, about halfway through my stash-and-stow I had a bout of nostalgia.
How many times had I done this before?

Strategizing with my sister about how to best avoid suspicion while sneaking bags up the stairs after back-to-school shopping.

Reminders from my mom to leave our Christmas haul in the car,
or garage,
or laundry room,
before walking in to greet daddy dearest.

Checking the mail at the end of each month to see if we'd somehow beat dad to the At&t, Visa, or Macy's bills
(he checks the mail religiously. it's one of those dad habits i so love and miss seeing).

Stacking, re-stacking, and rearranging Santa gifts
over and over again,
using our inherited UPS packing skills to create an optical illusion.

You'd never know how many gifts lay under that little evergreen.

We were masters at all of this.
Mom made sure of it.

Now, now.
My parents were wonderful partners.
They had a full disclosure policy and dad balanced the checkbook just as often as he checked the mail,
so he knew what was up.

We weren't ever really pulling the wool over his eyes.
We just liked to think we were.
It made for a happier daddy,
especially on those nights when he'd come home from an especially long day at work.

With this in mind, I decided to document my first big shopping spree.
I'd been out playing wife all night.
I'd scratched the Christmas shopping off my to-do list.
Found some killer deals in the process.
And now had no excuse not to study.
(until now...)

I felt so productive!
Felt just like my mama.
Which means I'm that much closer to becoming super-woman.

I arranged all the bags for their big debut and snapped just one shot when I heard the gate.
Oh no.
Parker'd finally made his way home.

He'd had a long day.
And I wanted a happy husband.
So I scrambled to find a place for each piece in my closet
finally realizing that Parker just might have a point about my having too many clothes.

Just as I go to squeeze the door shut I feel a hand on my waist.
And totally freak out.

How the heck does he do that?
He's always unintentionally (and sometimes intentionally) sneaking up on me.
And I'm always jumping out of my skin and listening to him laugh as I tell him to quit it with the whole James Bond act.

Needless to say, he'd seen it all.
His next question...
"How much?"

my reply
"Not much..."

then Parker
"I want a number."

Before I gave a "guesstimate" I reminded him that if I'd done anything wrong it'd been being too in tune with the spirit of giving.

He told me to quit stalling.

So I told him.

And he ended up being quite happy with my answer.
Or maybe he just appreciated the fact that he was off the hook for this holiday season's shopping.

Either way, win/win for us tonight.
And a fun little flashback for me.
I'm really missing home right now...

just 24 days more.

Christmas can't come soon enough!

Monday, November 29, 2010

food baby

so I'm thinking everyone is under the impression that I have babies on the brain.
this would make for baby post #3 right?
This is my Thanksgiving update!
And oh boy...
there is too, too much to say.
There always is when we venture down to Rockville.
This year I celebrated my first Thanksgiving with Mr. Parker
and experienced my first Thanksgiving away from home.
I missed my family dearly.
They're the loves of my life.
But luckily, I never feel far from home when I'm with the DeMilles
because they've somehow become the loves of my life too.

I've always found it startling how much you can grow to love someone in such a short time.
I usually reference this idea when I'm babbling on about my Parker
and I somehow forget that this is exactly how I feel about my family-in-law.

So tonight, I'm going to ditch the "in-law."
Because they're family.
Simple as that.

This Thanksgiving I had the chance to see for myself why there's such hub-bub about Rockville holidays.
Mix a fun family,
with fantastic food,
football fanatics,
feisty gamers,
and the freedom to run and ride and relish in the good 'ol outdoors,
and you have ROCKVILLE.
Parker's piece of heaven on earth.
When Parker and I create worlds someday, we'll recreate Rockville. Guaranteed.

Like I said...I have too much to say.
So I'll keep it simple.

Tristan and Kristy are THE most gracious hosts I've ever met.
No one goes home from a DeMille gathering without feeling absolutely, positively spoiled by these two.
Whether you're looking to
feel loved,
forget your worries,
make memories,
or taste the very sweetest of sugar cookies,
you'll find it all here.

The Bodilys, Rowes, & Baxters are a RIOT!
Oh my does this group know how to have fun!
If you're a Bodily, you're an entertainer.
No ifs, ands, or buts about it.
They'll make you laugh.
They'll make you cry
They'll even make you pee a little
(though no one but a Bodily would ever openly admit this).
They'll make you feel like you're the most important person in the room;
like you're part of their posse;
like you're the only one they came see!
And they'll make you wish you lived closer so you could see them all the time.

The Langstons make the party.
Their love of life is infectious;
their competitive spirit contagious;
their ability to "say-it-like-it-is" a most sought after disease.
They know what it's like to just "chill"
and are one of the few couples who make me feel like it's okay to unwind and enjoy the moment.
Plus I love their boys.

Mike & Parker are the best biking instructors I know.
If people say you can't teach talent,
they're wrong.
Because these two transformed this abysmal rider
into a mountain-biking animal.
They taught me what it means to be tuff;
to be fearless;
and how it feels when you fight your way to the summit
and relish in that rush of adrenaline as you fly back down.
(granted, my summits were more like big boulders.
gotta start somewhere, right?)
And Kaits is the best sister-in-law a girl could ask for.
She plays makeover even when she doesn't really want to.
She "fixes" anything and everything in the family that needs to be fixed.
(she's a master with the bro-mance)
And she's incredibly brave to follow her heart and do what she knows is right,
even if it's not exactly what she'd originally envisioned herself doing.
So excited for you Kaitlin!

I could go on and on about my family.
And my Thanksgiving.

But sadly my vacation's over.
It's time to face the harsh realities of life as a student.
Essays, research papers, capstone projects, and the like.

But before I jump into that,
let's have just one last laugh.
Because that's really all we do in Rockville anyway

Our Thanksgiving 2010 Quote Wall

From the "Coke is Evil" Campaign
David & Jacob: "What if Coke was beer?"
Paul: "What if butterflies were dinosaurs?"

Ethan: "Mixing Coke with Diet Coke is like mixing beer with alcohol!"
Paul: "To think anyone would ever put alcohol with beer!"

Tyler: "What's in it?"
Paul: "Water & cancer."

From the Ticket to Ride Table

Kristy: (when Paul places his trains in the middle of two tracks)
"I'm beginning to think you're bi-tracktual!"

Karen: (trying to relay the story) "Parker, did you hear your mom talking about the bisexual railroad?"
Amber: "Whoa! Mom! Way off base."
Karen: "What???"
Amber:(leading her away from the table) "When you start a story you don't know how to tell, it's best to just walk away."

5 minutes later
Karen: "Oh! Bi-tracktual! I meant bi-tracktual."
(Her realization is met by blank stares. It's impossible to understand the meaning of a made up word like 'bi-tracktual' out of context.)

(from someone in the living room)
"Gosh is smells in here!"
Kristy: "Ok...who made the fluffer?"

(when Tristan, the least competitive train conductor, blocks Kristy's route)
Kristy: "Tristan! Did you do that on purpose?"
Tristan: (smiling as he arranges his trains) "I sure did!"

From the Phase 10 Fest
Amber: "Gosh! I am just a gluten for punishment."
Paul: "And I eat glutton-free food!"

Calling Houston "Hudson."
Got me every time...

On the Great Costco Excursion
Kristy: "Amber, get your bi-tracktual husband. We're going shopping!"

Kristy: "Let's make sure to get the one ones!"
Amber: "Yes. I'll walk right up and ask, 'Sir, can you point me in the direction of the one ones?' We'll be in and out in no time!"

(discussing the advantages to buying feminine products in bulk)
Paul: "And you can use it as a travel pillow!"

During the Sheet-Changing Spectacular

(As Houston fails, for the third time, to properly secure the fitted sheet.)
Chelsey: "There's our Sterling Scholar!"

(as I gather my things to head out on our "girls'" trip to St. George)
("girls'" is in quote because Paul accompanied us)
Parker: "What are you going get?"
Chelsey: "I'm not sure just yet. We'll see what I find!"
Parker: "I can already tell this is a bad idea. It's like going to the grocery store hungry."

Right at the start of the Rivalry Game
(the boys are bashing Paul for routing for the Utes)
Chelsey: "But boys, what's the deal? Your dad likes Utes too."
David: "Yeah, our dad's an idiot."
(This sounds so incredibly cruel, but you'd find it hilarious if you knew how much these boys idolize their dad. They just bleed blue...)

Tyler: "Chelsey and Parker sittin' in a tree. K-I-S-S-Y-AND-G.
First comes love, then comes a baby in a baby carriage."
Chelsey: "Ty, you forgot marriage!"
Tyler: "Oh no! You can't have a baby without marriage!"

Tyler: "Then they kissed a lot and had a baby!"
(and then he returns to the chorus. "Chelsey & Parker sittin' in a tree...")

During Makeover Madness
Kaitlin: "So when exactly did I get picked to be the dummy?"
Lara: "When you decided to not put any makeup on this morning."
Chelsey: "Just go back to your angry birds...we'll be done long before you're bored of it."
Random Quotes from Amber's Blog
(Tristan pops up and begins helping Amber fluff Paul's curls)
Tristan: "I've always wanted to know what curly hair felt like!"

Mike: "It's so nice to be out in the country. It's great to just get away from it all."
Jake: "Yeah! We don't even watch TV...mostly because it's not in HD and it's fuzzy."

(David's evaluation of Paul on our last morning)
David: "Amber, Paul is really funny, but he sleeps in too late and has weird hair. Any every time you say something to make him feel silly, he says something to make you feel more silly."

As Amber blogged..."well said David!"
Special thanks to Amber for all these fabulous photos too!
This post would have been a boring wall of words without her.

Oh what would Rockville be without our quote wall?

Thanks again everyone for every. thing.
I had the happiest of Happy Thanksgivings!

Sunday, November 21, 2010


is exhausting.
but oh so much fun.
This weekend Parker and I played house with the Langston boys.
We'd looked forward to Friday all week!
We couldn't wait to be kids again,
leave all our worries at the door,
and just PLAY.

And that's exactly what we did.
And probably why we were so zonked come Saturday.

Between Dice-capades, murderer, Mega-Megamind (in Tyler's words), around-the-clock ESPN coverage, and countless hours spent watching the mini-Miners 2010 season highlights
the boys were in heaven.
all the boys.
Parker's motive for trying to sell me on being a "boy-mom" is now so clear.

Parker and I crashed on the couch around 11.
We'd been a bit soft on bedtime.
But a 10:30 tuck-in must make for a few extra hours of sleep, right?
All four boys were up-and-running and ready for breakfast by 7:30.
And the twins made good on their promise of a 6 o'clock wake-up call.
I couldn't believe it.

We lucked out having Dave, Jake, Ethan, and Tyler for our first parenting practice run.
They're definitely boys...
high-energy, rough-and-tumble, competitive little cubs
...but they're little angels too.

They have their get-ready-for-bed regime down to a tee.
"Pleases" and "thank yous" come right on time, every time.
And when you ask them to do something, they do it!
No arguments. No complaints. No need to ask them three, or four, or five times.
Just one request, maybe a quick reminder, and they're on it.
every time.
without fail.
it's amazing.
Lara & Kirk deserve gold stars for parenting.
seriously..I'm so impressed.

even with the most well-behaved little boys,
we came home and fell straight into a coma.
Not a nap.
A coma.

Granted, this parenting night came on the heels of a very long week.
But I'm 99.9% sure parents have longs weeks too.
And yet they still do it.

My question is how?
How do you parents do it?!
Parenting's rewarding.
There's no question about that.

I loved seeing those boys soak up new information like sponges.
Loved hearing them rave about Megamind like regular movie critics.
Loved listening to the twins spout off NFL and mini-Miner stats like professional sportscasters.
Loved watching Ethan proudly tell the story of each piece in his trophy collection.
Loved the way little Tyler'd cuddle up to me "just because."
And just loved having all these little people competing for my attention.

It was priceless.
And precious.
And so incredibly cute.

So I get that.
I get that it's rewarding.
And that's great.

But, if you're the super-parent you should be,
by the end of the day you are spent.
And, long before you're ready for it, that end of the day is the start of a new one.
And you get to do it all over again.
I'm not sure I could do that.
Not well at least.
Not yet.
Because I definitely saw a difference in my Day 1 & 2.

Day 1 I played the game.
Day 2 I supervised.

Day 1 I tried to make meaningful conversation.
Day 2 I just listened.

Day 1 I worked to make the most of every minute.
Day 2 I welcomed the lazy day with open arms.

I used to fantasize about what it might be like to be a mom.
Be home, all day, every day.
Make my own schedule.
Be my own boss.
Know I'm finally in a position where I can really make a difference.
Be in a place where I know what I'm doing really matters.

I knew being a mom would be hard,
but at the same time,
I totally thought it'd be easy.
Well, easier.

And I think that's the same trap so many young wives fall into.

They see parenting as an easy way out,
a glorified day job with great flexibility.
And they leave their husbands to figure out a way to juggle dad duties with full time work, full time school, and maybe the occasional panic attack.

And I'll be fair.
sometimes this works.
sometimes it's wonderful!
sometimes it's exactly what they signed on for.

But I think sometimes it's hard.
Really hard.
And for me, this weekend was an eye-opener that

Parenting's not just day job.
It's day and night.
No holidays.
No weekends.
No breaks for 20+ years if you plan on having more than one kid.
and really your whole life if you think about it.

There's no set schedule,
not for awhile at least,
and there's very. little. sleep.

Plus, if you mess up,
there's no re-dos.
You can't void out the receipt and run the transaction again.
You just move on and hope and pray you didn't do any permanent damage to this little life you've created.


So, long story short, I think parenting's wonderful.
I have so much respect for those people who are parents.
But I don't think it's a job you rush into to try and escape the real world.
Because it is the real world.
And a whole lot less cozy than the lives we lead right now.

And now I'll step down off my soapbox.

I think the boys had fun.
I know we did.
And I do hope we can do it again someday soon.
I love Parker so much more whenever I see him with kids.
He's going to be super-dad someday,
with silly games and sweet bedtime stories.
And we'll be happier than ever.
I know that.

Because even though we were absolutely spent come 11 o'clock Friday night,
we couldn't stop smiling.
There's really nothing like listening to a little one pray
before tucking them into bed with a goodnight kiss
closing the door
and cuddling up on the couch with your best ally.
the only other person who cares about the little munchkins as much as you do.
and the only one who knows what a battle it is to try and do this parenting thing right each and every day.

I'm excited for the day when we'll have that feeling every day.
But kind of terrified too.
So I think I'll stick to sampling parenthood for awhile.
I'm not ready for a full dose just yet :)