my little green monster

today it bit me...that little green monster bit me square in the face!

I never thought we'd have a throw-down like this. In fact, I didn't even think the little bugger knew where to find me.

I have an ever-faithful, loving husbands who lets me know I'm the single-most important thing in his life every day (and repeats it every time I ask, "Am I?" or "You do?" and then make him "promise" before I kiss his cute face).

But tonight this cute face turned quite sheepish when I asked about one particular "friend" whose status had popped up on his Facebook page.

"Sweetie, how do you know "so-and-so*"? I've seen her name on your Facebook feed before and meant to ask. She's in my class...the one I had tonight." *name changed for the protection of said home-wrecker

(cue sheepish grin)

"Parker..."

"What????" he asks coyly. Then he laughs. "She's actually a girl I kissed."

"WHAT?!" the green monster flies through the front door, kicks me in the shin and slaps me square in the face. "You kissed her? The girl I see and will have to see every. single. week. this semester?"

"Babe...come on. I told you what happened with that girl. She chased me all spring and summer semester when I first came to BYU after my mission. And that night it was her birthday...I wasn't thinking...and I took her out the next night to tell her sorry for giving her the wrong impression. I never had an interest and I always regretted it."

I thought about it...and realized he was right.

One of the most attractive things about Parker was his selective nature when it came to girls. As handsome as he is, he never lived the life of the typical Provo boy. He never cashed in for NCMO's, meaningless cuddling, or cheap kisses from all the girls who tried to lure him in (minus the one J).

We discovered while we were dating that our kissing totals were the same. And while I expected that from my picky self, I very much respected him for it.

Still, that little green monster lingered in our kitchen, waiting for me to lose my resolve and succumb to its vice-like grip once more.

I walked over, sat on my husband's lap, looked into his beautiful blue eyes and said, "You did tell me about her. I just never imagined she'd be sitting a total 2 desks away..."

I kissed him...really kissed him...more passionately, I'm sure, than she ever did. Than anyone ever had. Then drew back with premature smirk of satisfaction as I waited to see his reaction.

"Maybe next class you could talk to her about it," he teased.

And that's when the little green monster spat in my face.

"Ok...that's it."

I hopped up, re-broke our already broken chair in my haste, and began attacking the mountain of dishes in our kitchen sink.

He followed me, pulled his classic, "Oh baby cakes...you know how much I love you," in his silly little voice, then kissed me from my jawline down to the tip of my shoulder and back. "And how I will forever."

"Promise?" I asked.

"I promise."

I threw my rag in the sink, wrapped my arms around his neck, leaned in close and said, "Now promise I'm the best kisser."

He smiled. "Promise." Then swept me off my feet to remind me exactly why I've always thought of him as my best too. :)

Disclaimer: I chose to share this story for the irony of it more than anything. I really couldn't care less (once I got over the fact that my classmate once sampled a piece of my Parker). He's mine. He picked me. And he's been head over heels for me from Day 1. He never made me fight to earn his love, he simply gave it to me, unconditionally, along with his whole heart. And as soon as I bucked my anti-marriage/falling in love complex, I gave him mine too.

Speaking of irony...I'm thinking it might be hilarious, when my teacher asks for good news at the beginning of class next week, for me to say, "Oh! One of my fellow classmates knows what it's like to kiss my husband. Crazy right?!" which would spark the class's curiosity and spur most everyone on to a mental checklist of all the guys they'd ever kissed. It'd be the greatest news tease I've ever written! Talk about getting the viewer involved in the story. Oh so fun! If only I didn't care so much about the home-wrecker's feelings...*sigh* me and my conscience. Maybe that day I'll have my hair-pulling-prone monster with me...it'd be so much easier not to hate her if she was bald.

P.S. For anyone looking to deal with their own little green monsters, I found this. I thought about writing my post around it but realized the late hour and took the lazy/spew route instead. Good ideas though!