sleep secrets

Parker and I are polar opposites when it comes to our sleep cycles.

He's an early to bed, early to rise type

(early being a bit more like midnight these days),

and I'm the night owl

(unless I have drugs. then I'm a SUPER sleeper).

It's a tough balance.

Parker loves snuggling when he's sleepy

(but not once he's ready to fall asleep),

and I like to be busy, busy, busy until my sleep coma comes.

Only when I'm nearly zonked do I want to cuddle

(if we're excluding the other 23 hours of the day when I want it too).

Typically Parker will hold me for a few minutes before he falls to sleep.

Then he gently pushes fidgety me away,

rolls over,

and clings to his edge of the bed.

I'll try and sneak another smooch or two before he conks out

but that usually results in his moaning or groaning or calling me beeder.

When he's done, he's done.

That is, until I discovered his subconscious self.

I think it first happened when we were down in Richfield for the 4th of July this year.

Parker'd fallen fast asleep as I finished my get-ready-for-bed regime.

I could hear his even breathing as I crawled into bed.

I tried to resist,

but his sweet sleeping face is just always so tempting.

So I showered him with sweet kisses.

And he turned his back on me.

And that was the end of that.

until about 3 a.m.

I awoke suddenly.

Why am I awake? I wondered.

I'm one of the very best sleepers I know.

I searched the moonlit room with my sleepy eyes to no avail.

Nothing out of the ordinary.

except...

I turned my attention to the weight on my chest.

And my eyes were greeted by a big 'ol bicep.

I hadn't been able to breathe!

No wonder I'd woken up.

As much as I appreciated his sleep-stupor affections,

I need to readjust.

So I gently lay his arm by his side.

And that's when he grabbed me,

pulled me so close I could hear his heart beat,

then moved his sweet sleepy lips to mine

and kissed me.

kissed me good.

I surfaced a few minutes later and snuggled back into his arms with a smug smile.

So this is his secret...

When I asked him about it the next morning he laughed.

He vaguely remembered it.

The kissing at least.

And when I asked him what triggered it.

He said simply,

"I just wanted to kiss you."

I told him his subconscious self likes me more than he does.

He said that's probably true.

So I punched him.

End the romantic reflection.

Deep down I was still happy though.

It was by far the sweetest sleep surprise he's ever given me!

And it's happened a few times since.

These days, however, we've transitioned to more barnacle-like behavior.

During the day, that's my role.

I'll claim it.

The barnacle behavior is mine and mine alone.

until the clock strikes midnight.

then it's all Mr. Parker.

I'll be typing away on my computer when PLOP.

A mass of muscle lands straight on my chest.

I'll be up reading my scriptures when PLOP.

Man quad falls flat on my tummy.

And all this with a sleepy little sigh right into my right ear.

If I didn't love him so much I'd hate it.

But I mostly just love it.

His subconscious can love on me any day!

P.S. Another funny story...

(I hesitate to put this picture and story on here, but Parker just loves the Simpson's. Plus it kind of fits.)

We've recently had a few run-ins with sleep stripping.

The first incident came to light around mid-September.

I chattered on and on, trying to prolong our conversation for as much of my Provo commute as possible when Parker asks,

"Did you take my bottoms off me last night?"

totally out of the blue.

I told him I had not the slightest idea what he was talking about and he explained that he'd somehow woken up without them.

"I won't be mad...I just wanted to know if you did it."

I break out in hysterics.

"Of course I didn't do it. Who do you think I am?!"

I barely hear his contemplative tone in between giggles.

"Oh. Hmm. Guess I must've been hot."

We laughed and laughed at his midnight exhibitionism.

It's really one of the best commute conversations I've ever had.

But apparently this wasn't a one time deal.

He did again.

Went all out this time.

And we had another good giggle over it.

Then, just last night, I caught the bug.

I stirred as Parker rushed to get ready for his job shadow.

"Baby...why am I naked?"

I looked at him puzzled, holding my top in my hand.

"I'm not sure sweetie. You were that way when I woke up."

I continued to stare.

At him.

Then at my top.

Then back at him.

He smiled.

"Don't worry. I don't mind."

And then I fell back to sleep.

We are one odd pair.

With two odd sleep schedules.

And three of these even odder incidents.

But I kind of like it that way.

:)

(and I'm nearly certain we're not the only ones who do this.

You know who you are...)