Friday, October 29, 2010

how's the married life?

So to kick off my "this-is-why-life-is-so-wonderful" posting spree, I thought I'd talk about that BIG change that hit me at age 20...marriage!

And not just marriage, but marriage to a certain Mr. Parker DeMille.

I blog about Parker like new moms use pictures of their babies as Facebook profile pictures (too. too. much.). So I tried to come up with a creative way to keep this short, sweet, and semi- to the point.

Anyone who's been a newlywed knows THE question...the one EVERYONE asks...friends, family, family friends, classmates, co-workers, college professors, bosses, bishoprics, doctors, dentists...really anyone you see or interact with your first year of marriage will give a quick hello before defaulting to this dead-end conversation starter.

"How's the married life treating you?"

It's hilarious! And happens just. like. clockwork.

And if you haven't seen it happen, you will.

So in my "how-to-blog-about-my-husband" brainstorm I decided...why not answer that very question??? Give everyone a quick update on what married life is really like so you can see (and still wonder) what it is about my married life with Parker that makes me oh so happy!

Before I start, one quote that I feel defines our relationship (thank you little sister whose FB page I stole it from!)

"We are all a little weird and life's a little weird,

and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours,

we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love."

-Dr. Seuss

So here's my top 21. No more. No less (because I'm trying to learn to like that number).

Happy reading!

1. Hearing terms of endearment like baby cakes and lil' beeder on a regular basis.

2. Having sweet kisses interrupted by nose-licking fights.

Last one to sneak a swipe wins.

The game usually ends with my surrender, refusal to be so “absolutely immature,” and puzzlement over why he can’t ever just let me win...

...all followed by one last sneaky attempt to win it with a wet one and run away.

3. Finding all idealized “falling asleep in his arms” moments prefaced by a sequence of small squabbles over my constant fidgeting, cold feet, and middle-of-the-night barnacle behavior...

(i.e. my frequent [and slightly selfish] decisions to cause deep sleep disturbances by forcing him into the cuddle position [wrenching his arm around me, plopping my head on his chest, kissing his sweet sleeping face, etc. etc.]).

4. Discovering that I can be really demanding zealous with my requests for affection.

i.e. Conversation when tucking into bed last night around a quarter after 3.

Chelsey: Spoon me!

Parker: Baby I spooned you the whole movie tonight.

Chelsey: had to spoon me to be able to see the TV. Nice try. It’ll just be a second, I promise! I’ll fall right to sleep.

Parker: Mmmmm..... (long silence)

fine. ok. but you have to be still.

Chelsey: I will! I will!

(cuddles up to her husband. Then adjusts her pillow, adjusts the blanket tucked under her head, pulls the covers up closer to her chin, decides it’s not working, rolls to her back, rolls back over to her side, rolls to face husband, readjusts the pillow…)

Parker: Beeder…you said you wouldn’t move.

Chelsey: Ok I’m done!

(quiet for a few seconds…)

Chelsey: Now kiss me!

Parker: SO demanding! No. No I won't.

Chelsey: Then I will ask you again....

Parker: If I kiss you will you be quiet go to sleep?

Chelsey: Yes....

(quick little kiss)

Chelsey: Ok seriously??? Give me a real kiss…

Parker: Beeder!!!

You get the idea…

5. No more fights over who’s paying when we’re out on the town.

(Parker always insisted on paying when we were dating and even when we were engaged. He felt so guilty anytime I picked up the tab on anything…very chivalrous and cute, I know. It just made for many long conversations/small physical altercations at the cash register. I think I even took to inventing stories of gift cards and freebies… “Oh sweetie, stop stressing it! My internship hooked us up!”)

6. New fights over who’s driving.

Parker always drove when we were dating which is why I’m now conditioned to it.

But as it turns out, once we decided to seal the deal, I became a much less attentive passenger… he now prefers to have me in the driver’s seat.

I, on the other hand, love it when he drives because it allows me to enjoy the luxury of being able multitask, do my make-up, check my email, and avoid flashbacks to my driver’s permit days when Parker hits pretend brakes on the passenger side just like my mom used to.

When I drive, it scares him.

But I guess he sees risking his life as a
worthy trade-off for better conversation.

7. A manual dish-washing system (as our nonexistent dishwasher leaves us with the next best alternative…our hands!).

I wash.

He puts away.

99% of the time.

(sometimes he does it all himself just to be a helper...I have a wonderful husband, I know.)

8. Unintentional slips into baby talk, gangsta’ rap, and hillbilly accents.

I have no idea whether this is one of those things Parker inherited from me or just a silly alter-ego he decided to keep under wraps until I’d officially said “I do.”

Whatever it is…I love it! I never imagined my husband would be so silly with me.

Whether he’s saying

“I lov-a you baby,”

or "Pinchewe" (pronounced peen-chay-way),

or “What chu want, what chu need?”,

or singing butchered lyrics like, “Ooo baby I love you so much…” to that Reggae Baby I Love Your Way song…

...he makes me laugh.

All. the. time.

Other notable lyric lines he loves,

“st-st-stop talkin’ that blah. blah. blah,"

"you're a jerk,"
(believe it or not, that is a song lyric)

“hide yo kids, hide yo wife,”

"we gon' find you, we gon' find you,"

and my personal favorite,

"You are really dumb."

And please do not forget his semi-professional beat-boxing skills…

Who is this kid? seriously? And was he like this at home?

He is always surprising me.

9. Having a ready and willing helper in the kitchen anytime I decide to dive into domestic life.

He’s always asking what he can do to help (whether it’s because he really is that sweet, hoping to speed along the process, or terrified of what I’ll turn out if he’s not there to help…I don’t know).

But I do know that he NEVER sits on his fanny watching me tackle domestic duties alone. He’s always there when I need him, and always skeptical when I say I don’t.

I love that.

10. Many, many, many conversations about budgeting…

...and many more moments spent finding loopholes to get around it.

We both want the best for us. The only difference is...

I want it now;

he wants it later.

I’m trying to be better and learn from him,
but I can also be awfully persuasive.

I think he has a love-hate relationship with my spending habits.

Loves the spontaneity.

Hates the hit on our checking accounts.

(Not to worry in-laws…I’m really not that bad. Just not as wonderfully savings-savvy as our Parker. I really am getting better every day.)

11. Many weekend commutes to Provo spent mocking country story-songs and Owl city, pretend-yelling at bad drivers, and making pinky-promise pacts that I will not plan another activity until someone else decides to take the initiative to do it (none of these have held…I’m weak when it comes to resisting social fixes).


Parker and I are now foregoing the theater for a cozier abode. We toss out our giant green pillows, throw down a blanket, and settle in for the show with a bowl of our favorite healthy pop kettle corn...

(I’ve converted him….so yummy!).

It’s a little cuddle-fest and I love it!

(And Kristy, you’d be proud of your boy. He’s always been a movie watcher—absolutely hates to be bothered by kisses during a show. People never believed that we really watched movies in their entirety when we were dating…but we surely did! Never missed a minute).

13. Discussions about our PDA-levels.

Neither of us approve of extreme PDA. It’s off-putting and makes the people around you feel awkward.

But I think we’ve gone too far in the other direction.

We’re so anti-PDA that I have a feeling a number of our newly married friends think we have a rough home life.

Last weekend our friend Kayla walked into the room as I was trying to give Parker just a little tiny kiss. Really, like a peck.

He was falling over the arm of the couch and holding me at an arm’s length with a look of sheer terror on his face.

You’d think I was trying to suck his soul with a Dementor’s kiss!

So we’re back to the drawing board with this one…time to convince people we actually do like and even love each other.

Wish us luck!

14. School. Work. Work. School. Internship. More work. More school. Little window of playtime. Then internship. More work. More school. And TONS of hours spent on the road in the time in between.

We are truly living the wonderfully busy, stress-filled, and happy newly-married, working-student way of life.

15. Falling in love with gelato and Kneader’s sugar cookies all over again!

Then paying the consequences in the way of the love chubb L

…does it ever go away???

16. Starting to think the same way, finish each other’s sentences, and end each day with at least 3 jinxes. It's cheesy and so cliché to say it, but I will…

The whole idea of marriage allowing you to “become one in mind, body, and spirit" is absolutely legit.

I swear we’re becoming this one indistinguishable entity.

I see so much more of him in me and me in him too.

We’re changing each other in the best ways.

It’s exactly what I’d hoped marriage might bring.

so this is kind of the opposite of what I was going for...just picture the two fusing together to make one perfect light bulb.

17. Callings and all the other perks of a family ward…we’re SO happy to be back!

Parker loves teaching Sunday school for the 14-15 year olds and I’m just ecstatic to be back in YW’s.

I’m not sure if my Mia Maids are loving getting a double dose of DeMille each Sunday, but for our sake I hope they continue to endure it well.

We’ve had so many rewarding experiences serving with the youth.

Who knew we’d be back so soon!

18. A million-and-one bedtime giggles—again, did anyone know my husband was this funny?!

I knew he had a sense of humor.

I knew he could both dish it out and take it when it came to sarcasm.

But I never knew he was SILLY!

He is so silly! And SO funny! Especially near bedtime...

Recent favorites…

As I’m giving him little kisses on his cheek and chin and neck…

“Ack…you’re getting me dirty.”

When I just went in to tuck him in for his Sunday nap…

Chelsey: “Do you know how much I love you? You’re my little cuddle-bug!”

Parker: “No. I am your little sleepy-bug. I love you Goodnight.”

And my all-time favorite kumquatch noises…

Soft purr…

Chelsey: “Parker stop it! I can’t see you! Don’t you dare scare me.”

Soft purr…

Quick movement. He attacks! And purrs menacingly in my ear.

Chelsey: Screaming. Thrashing about wildly. More screaming.

“Why are you so creepy?! Why are you so creepy?!”

Another soft purr

Parker: “Kumquatch goin' to eat chu…”

19. Growing in our love for games (and in our love for renaming games on those days when Parker is feeling particularly silly…i.e. Red Baron??? Still beats me how he got that one to stick. Anyway…).

One of the best parts of our last 5+ months together has been Parker’s decision to jump on the game-playing bandwagon and enjoy life with us.

He loves games now.

I never would have dreamed it would happen.

But he does.

He often tells me how happy he is that we’re so “well-rounded” and even advocates and defends the value of games to his more anti-game big brothers. There are still a handful of “beedin’ board games,” but for the most part he loves them.

Whether it’s Hand & Foot, Red Demon, Ticket to Ride, or Pictionary he is a happy and willing participant.

It’s a beautiful thing.

20. Playing as much as we possibly can.

Whether we’re planning game nights in Provo with our best married (and single) friends, spending Sunday nights with family, or searching all of Salt Lake & Utah County for a scary movie for Halloween (and failing miserably), we are keeping social!

It’s been really neat to see our friend circles start to overlap.

Whether they wanted me or not, Parker’s friends have inherited another buddy.

And the same goes for my girls (who are trying to help me disprove the theory that none of our husbands will ever get along because we’re all so different and thus will marry men who are so drastically different they can never be friends. Thank you Kayla for giving us hope! [although I’m not sure if Michael really counts because he was technically my friend already]).

Long story short, we’re both loving the fact that we still have so many close friends and family willing to endure enjoy our company each weekend and help take our minds off the daily grind.

I love the diversity of our friend pool too! It’s so neat too to see that friendships can thrive no matter what your stage in life.

21. Lots of laughter and SO much fun.

Again, one of the biggest clichés used to express marital bliss, but so true.

We are each other’s very best friends.

I remember tears trickling down my face when I heard Parker say that for the first time.

I kept trying to convince him that he didn’t want to marry me any sooner than he had to…

Kept telling him that he’d miss his single life…miss his roommates, his “boys”, his very best friends.

He just looked at me, puzzled, and said,

But Chelsyou are my very best friend.

And he’s reminded me of that fact every day since.

I love him so much! I love all “the married life” has given thus far and cannot wait to live the rest of our lives together. And I love knowing that our forever will be spent loving, laughing, growing, and living the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

I couldn’t have asked for a better person to do it with.

I love you Parker DeMille!

And I love our. married. life.

Thank you age 20 for bringing me this. I’d say it’s been quite the success J

No comments:

Post a Comment