oh baby

so I've been feeling yuck

all. night.

i've been

queasy.

squeamish.

a sickly shade of green.

i couldn't find anything to make me feel better.

so I decided to try laughter on for size.

it is the best medicine after all.

Chelsey:

"hey baby. what if i was pregnant?"

yikes!

Parker:

"yeah, that'd be crazy."

Chelsey:

"i know, right? imagine how hard it would be."

Parker:

"why? because you'd be so crazy?"

Chelsey:

"WHAT? i meant like financially..."

Parker (averts his eyes):

"oh. uh, yeah.

I meant that too..."

mmhmm...

welcome, world,

to my husband's greatest fear about babies.

his crazy, pregnant wife.

lovely.

and for any gossip queens

no, there is no baby.

not anytime soon at least.

:)

sleep secrets

Parker and I are polar opposites when it comes to our sleep cycles.

He's an early to bed, early to rise type

(early being a bit more like midnight these days),

and I'm the night owl

(unless I have drugs. then I'm a SUPER sleeper).

It's a tough balance.

Parker loves snuggling when he's sleepy

(but not once he's ready to fall asleep),

and I like to be busy, busy, busy until my sleep coma comes.

Only when I'm nearly zonked do I want to cuddle

(if we're excluding the other 23 hours of the day when I want it too).

Typically Parker will hold me for a few minutes before he falls to sleep.

Then he gently pushes fidgety me away,

rolls over,

and clings to his edge of the bed.

I'll try and sneak another smooch or two before he conks out

but that usually results in his moaning or groaning or calling me beeder.

When he's done, he's done.

That is, until I discovered his subconscious self.

I think it first happened when we were down in Richfield for the 4th of July this year.

Parker'd fallen fast asleep as I finished my get-ready-for-bed regime.

I could hear his even breathing as I crawled into bed.

I tried to resist,

but his sweet sleeping face is just always so tempting.

So I showered him with sweet kisses.

And he turned his back on me.

And that was the end of that.

until about 3 a.m.

I awoke suddenly.

Why am I awake? I wondered.

I'm one of the very best sleepers I know.

I searched the moonlit room with my sleepy eyes to no avail.

Nothing out of the ordinary.

except...

I turned my attention to the weight on my chest.

And my eyes were greeted by a big 'ol bicep.

I hadn't been able to breathe!

No wonder I'd woken up.

As much as I appreciated his sleep-stupor affections,

I need to readjust.

So I gently lay his arm by his side.

And that's when he grabbed me,

pulled me so close I could hear his heart beat,

then moved his sweet sleepy lips to mine

and kissed me.

kissed me good.

I surfaced a few minutes later and snuggled back into his arms with a smug smile.

So this is his secret...

When I asked him about it the next morning he laughed.

He vaguely remembered it.

The kissing at least.

And when I asked him what triggered it.

He said simply,

"I just wanted to kiss you."

I told him his subconscious self likes me more than he does.

He said that's probably true.

So I punched him.

End the romantic reflection.

Deep down I was still happy though.

It was by far the sweetest sleep surprise he's ever given me!

And it's happened a few times since.

These days, however, we've transitioned to more barnacle-like behavior.

During the day, that's my role.

I'll claim it.

The barnacle behavior is mine and mine alone.

until the clock strikes midnight.

then it's all Mr. Parker.

I'll be typing away on my computer when PLOP.

A mass of muscle lands straight on my chest.

I'll be up reading my scriptures when PLOP.

Man quad falls flat on my tummy.

And all this with a sleepy little sigh right into my right ear.

If I didn't love him so much I'd hate it.

But I mostly just love it.

His subconscious can love on me any day!

P.S. Another funny story...

(I hesitate to put this picture and story on here, but Parker just loves the Simpson's. Plus it kind of fits.)

We've recently had a few run-ins with sleep stripping.

The first incident came to light around mid-September.

I chattered on and on, trying to prolong our conversation for as much of my Provo commute as possible when Parker asks,

"Did you take my bottoms off me last night?"

totally out of the blue.

I told him I had not the slightest idea what he was talking about and he explained that he'd somehow woken up without them.

"I won't be mad...I just wanted to know if you did it."

I break out in hysterics.

"Of course I didn't do it. Who do you think I am?!"

I barely hear his contemplative tone in between giggles.

"Oh. Hmm. Guess I must've been hot."

We laughed and laughed at his midnight exhibitionism.

It's really one of the best commute conversations I've ever had.

But apparently this wasn't a one time deal.

He did again.

Went all out this time.

And we had another good giggle over it.

Then, just last night, I caught the bug.

I stirred as Parker rushed to get ready for his job shadow.

"Baby...why am I naked?"

I looked at him puzzled, holding my top in my hand.

"I'm not sure sweetie. You were that way when I woke up."

I continued to stare.

At him.

Then at my top.

Then back at him.

He smiled.

"Don't worry. I don't mind."

And then I fell back to sleep.

We are one odd pair.

With two odd sleep schedules.

And three of these even odder incidents.

But I kind of like it that way.

:)

(and I'm nearly certain we're not the only ones who do this.

You know who you are...)

snack time

so we kind of have an obsession...

fruit leather

yum!

I should know by now that it's not okay to buy this.

We're already too tempted to avoid mainstay meals and snack 24/7.

We already spend way too much money on our monthly Costco trip.

And I know if we stuck to real fruit we'd be that much closer to conquering the love chubb.

But, alas, when I see these little babies smiling down at me from their Costco pallets...

when I hear those flattened fruits hush my conscience with their coos of

"buy-in-bulk"...

and when I think of how much my husband will love the surprise...

I cave and chuck the little suckers in my cart without a second glance at the price tag.

As soon as Parker quiets his cries of delight we both make a pact to save the fruit leathers for sporadic snacking and lunches.

And then we break our promise

over and over again.

and have weaker, feebler excuses each time we do.

i.e. Monday night

Parker hears me rustling in the cupboard after dinner.

"Baby...is you getting into the fruit leather?"

"No..."

"Babe???"

"Ok yes! I just needed a little dessert to appease my sweet tooth.

And this is healthiest option I could find.

Did you know these each count for a full 1/2 serving of fruit?!

I knew I loved them..."

Parker shakes his head and breathes a sigh of disappointment.

20 minutes later

I hear a rustle coming from the kitchen cupboards.

"Sweetie? What's going on?"

"Nothing..."

I hear the snap, crackle, pop of the fruit leather wrapper.

(I'd know it anywhere)

So I run into the kitchen

and catch him red-ripened raspberry handed.

"Parker...you are eating a fruit leather!

You little hippie-crite."

(yes, that is how we say hypocrite.

most my friends do actually.

funny Mom moment.

i'll enlighten you some other time.)

He smilingly chomps away while discretely tucking his other hand behind his back.

But I saw it.

I see all.

I wrestle him for a moment before he willingly gives in,

revealing the contents of his right hand.

And there lies another crumpled fruit leather wrapper.

A wrapper branded with the name of my very favorite fruit leather

orchard cherry.

for shame...

But just as I go to tell him how heartbroken I am over this loss he comes up with this.

"I just wanted to get my full serving..."

oh boo...

his sweet little smirk melts my heart.

and before I know it,

we're both on the couch munching away on our goodnight snacks.

orchard cherry fruit leathers

yum, yum, yum!

i love my Parker.

he's sweet.

he's silly.

and he shares almost all my obsessions.

now if I could only get him to blog...

:)

the babysitter's club

WAY, way back in the day

(before I even knew the city Sparks existed)

I had a wish.

I wished my life might someday be like the babysitter's club book series.

I didn't care so much about being a talented teen entrepreneur or

having a bank-breaking babysitting monopoly in my hometown.

I just wanted the BFF's.

I wanted, more than anything, to have an inseparable group of girls.

A little posse I could count on to be there for me through thick and thin.

With Sisterhood-of-the-Traveling Pants-type relationships

where each of us were so close and had such overlapping and unique bonds

that the only way you could see us was as one collective unit.

A band of buddies that needed all the parts to make a whole.

I've been putting off this post because it's too hard to write.

We've had too much history.

Shared too many memories.

And had way too much fun together for me to sum it all up in just a few words.

I have too much to say.

Even for me.

So I'll keep this simple.

I did find that babysitter's club.

We've been besties since we were Beehives

and will all be bridesmaids on each other's big days.

We're the fab four.

"The girls."

The best of BFF's.

And we always will be.

And tonight I wanted to tell each of you

my dear Tiff-o-puff, Colie, and Jilly-bean

I love you!

I do.

For being just exactly who you are.

Because the truth is

if we weren't so very different

our friendship wouldn't work.

It's that simple.

So I'm happy we're each so wonderfully unique!

It's the reason we're all the very best of the friends

and the reason we'll stay that way forever.

Some days I wish I'd been an easier roommate.

A perpetually positive influence.

And a better friend.

But then I remember that,

if I hadn't been so perfectly imperfect,

you'd all be a whole lot more like all my other friends

and a whole lot less like family.

So here's my tribute to you.

I tried to capture each of you in words.

And I have to say.

On paper we don't fit.

at all.

But because in writing

we don't

it seems even sweeter to me that

in real life

we really do.

Thank you for giving me my babysitter's club.

And thank you for always being you!

I love you for it.

And I always, always will.

Tiffany

20. Calls Sparks, NV home. BYU junior studying exercise science with high (and highly promising) hopes of Physician’s Assisting School. Anatomy & physiology expert. Best studier I know. Second to oldest of six. Very responsible. Very organized. Always on time. Has the smile that lights up the room. The life of the party at every party. Wacky. Crazy. Chatterbox. Realist. Will tell you anything and everything you want to know about anything. Spills all her secrets without even being asked. Queen of the quote wall because of her frequent failure to censor. Has an infectious and ever-changing laugh. Loves all things active, especially soccer. Likes lifting more than cardio and has the best arms because of it. Enjoys boarding both in the snow and on the water. Political pundit and conservative to the core. Talk radio listener and FOX fanatic. All-American girl with a soft spot for our nation’s soldiers. Adores old people and goes out of her way to befriend them. Respects them for their wisdom. Appreciates their humor. And feels her heart break anytime she sees a senior feeling lonely or forgotten. Very grounded and down to earth. Works for everything she gets and never fails to give her best. Currently works as a CNA. Is on the hunt for a cowboy-firefighter and is waiting for the day when we’ll all jump on board and join her for a spontaneous road trip to Texas. Has a habit of slipping into Southern accents—with the occasional Bon Qui Qui or hillbilly twist. Loves Glee, Grey’s Anatomy & Ghost Whisperer. Blue-eyed brunette with an athlete’s build. Has the coziest blanket named “bear.” Talks in her sleep. Extremely loyal to those who’ve earned her love and respect. Family always comes first. A Daddy’s girl through and through. Has the softest and kindest heart. Appreciates animals. Loves all country music and always sings along in her best country twang. Has an obsession with Rascal Flatts. Master of the moral compass. Sees the world in black and white too. Always chooses right and wonders why so many people are willing to give up real happiness to go the other way. Confident in her testimony. Loves to share what she knows. Strong spirit. Future missionary. A good goal-setter. A great leader.

A best friend.

Nicole

20. Calls Sparks, NV home. Elementary Education major and Art History minor who’s endured every misconception, judgment, and joke tied to her major (despite the fact that she’s likely 10x smarter than the people who like to offer these clichéd criticisms). BYU junior. Future fifth or third grade teacher. Loves kids and arts & crafts. The baby of four who still spent most her time at home as an only child (and is still fighting the “surprise” vs. “accident” battle as a result). Reads anything and everything with a good review but loves classics and love stories most. A teaser. A dreamer. A very light sleeper. Has the most girlish flirty giggle you’ve ever heard. Fun-loving. Friendly. Fantastic secret-keeper. An introspective thinker. A quiet observer. A realist. Enjoys the social scene but could get along just fine without it. Best journal-keeper I know. Loves her family—her nieces especially. Naïve, but in the best way. Child-like and wise beyond her years all at the same time. Loves the Food Network and all the fall primetime favorites—Modern Family, The Office, Glee & Community. Watches Disney Channel shows on those days her mind needs a break. Can quote Billy Madison in its entirety. Appreciates Adam Sandler & Nacho Libre-type humor. Sassy. Sarcastic. Silly too. Keeps her secrets to herself but eventually breaks. Can’t ever keep a straight face when it comes to boys. Lives for traveling. Loves gardening. Likes games too. My greatest arch-nemesis in Demon but very best Taboo teammate. Loves kitties. Would prefer to live without slobbery dogs. Loves country & Jack Johnson. The “original” Rascal Flatts fanatic of the group. Very tidy. Very organized. Maybe a little OCD. Will be the most put-together wife and mother and the classic Utah jam-making Grandma. Famous for perfectly painted and manicured nails. Beautiful smile. Bright green eyes. Natural blonde with a wispy little figure. Sensitive to the Spirit and strong Latter-day Saint. Has an adorable boyfriend. Looks very much in love. It takes a lot to make her care but once she does she will forever. A good listener. A great girl.

A best friend.

Jillian

20. Calls Sparks, NV home. Paul Mitchell School of Beauty & Aveda Institute student. Future hair stylist and salon owner. Oldest of six. Brunette bombshell with the brightest green eyes. Trendy. Stylish. Skinny-jean sporter. Loves to read. Flies through novels like they’re children’s books. Alternative music listener. Falls in love with songs long before the mainstream music world finds them. Quiet in some circles but crazy in others. Outspoken when she has a strong opinion. Generally a listener but always willing to add her two cents. Adores her five younger siblings. They absolutely adore her too. Loved her yellow lab Tag. Lives in the moment but thinks about the future. Worries about being out on her own. Happy-go-lucky. Free spirited. Friendly. Fun. Keeps an open mind about everything and everyone. Remembers everything. Can quote movies from start to finish. Hates scary movies. Hid under a blanket the first time we ever watched The Ring. Loves to laugh. Likes to sing. Hates crowds. Has the sweetest smile. Working girl making her way through school as a hostess at Macaroni Grille. Gets hit on all the time because she’s gorgeous. But right now she’s taken and so, so happy. My go-to girl for all things fashion. Always willing to lend a helping hand. Gives willingly and never expects anything in return. Famous for her fluttering eyelids and Facebook know-how. Likes to be in the know but could live without always being in the loop. Will tell you anything you’d like to know about her as long as you ask. Honest. Straightforward. Social. Silly. Only ever gives sincere compliments. Talented texter. Believes in the Gospel and the blessings it brings. Caring and kind-hearted. Loves the Discovery Channel and Spongebob too. A good judge of character. A great giver.

A best friend.

Chelsey

21. Calls Sparks, NV & Elk Grove, CA home (truly a Nevadan now but will always be a California girl at heart). BYU broadcast journalism major. Just shy of graduation with not the slightest idea of where to go from there. Middle child of three. Type A times a thousand. Too ambitious for her own good. Highly competitive. Loves all things active, especially soccer. Lives for her social life and any kind of events planning. Loves playing games. Sees the world in black and white (life's grey areas drive her crazy!). Night owl. Never on time. Believes in saving, but tends to spend. Loves shopping but hates what it costs. Queen of buyer's remorse. Messy car. Immaculate closet. Loves doing laundry and washing dishes (but loathes putting either away). Binge cleaner. Optimistic. Cheerful. Happiest when she's the center of attention but tries to pretend it's not true. Can't survive a day without her iPhone yet drops it every other minute. Loves sunshine, water, wakeboarding and tube wars. Lives for June weeks spent on Lake Shasta. Wishes she could afford a season pass for snowboarding. Likes bigger dogs, especially labs. Loves her family. Absolutely impatient. Feels a need to know everything. Curious. Zero fear of asking questions and really anything else. Likes to know how things work. Loves figuring out how people work. Loves being busy. Always tries to make things bigger and better. Wants to change the world. Wishes she could see the future now. Can't wait to live life and see it all play out. Lives for "I love you's". Likes kisses. Loves Parker. A good thinker. A great gabber.

A best friend.

"Sometimes in life, you find a special friend.

Someone who changes your life just by being a part of it.

Someone who makes you laugh so hard you can't stop.

Someone who makes you believe that there really is good in the world.

Someone who convinces you that there really is an unlocked door just waiting for you to open it.

This is forever friendship.

When you're down and the world seems dark and empty, your forever friend lifts you up in spirit and makes that dark and empty world suddenly seem bright and full.

Your forever friend gets you through the hard times, the sad times and the confused times.

If you turn and walk away, your forever friend follows.

If you lose your way, your forever friend guides you back and cheers you on.

If you're sad your forever friend holds your hand and tells you that everything is going to be okay.

And if you find such a friend, you feel happy and complete because you need not worry.

You have a forever friend,

and forever has no end."
-Unknown

we really always will be

best friends forever

love you girls...