I hate it. I've never been especially good at it. And it's even harder when it's for something I care about.
Tomorrow I'll send in the last of my letters of recommendations and keep my fingers crossed that the most generous soul on the admissions board will be the one to open my application. It's rare, with these types of situations, that I am not 99.9% confident in the outcome. But this go-around I'm finding myself faced with the exception, not the rule. I feel anxious, unsure, yet completely calm all at the same time.
Parker said it perfectly. I haven't dedicated my entire life to working toward this acceptance. In fact, I've barely dedicated the last week. If it comes back with a yes, then I am a very lucky and blessed girl. But, if not, I really haven't lost anything at all in trying.
I'm keeping a good thought, saying a little prayer or two, then moving on with life until I find that letter in the mail letting me know what the next few years have in store.
This doesn't mean I've gotten any better at waiting though...
It'd better come quick.
P.S. Letter of recommendation are the best!!! They make you feel so loved and accomplished and valued. I am surrounded by so many amazingly kind and generous people who really believe in me. It makes this all that much easier! Thank you to everyone for helping me to expedite this process and for giving me such glowing reviews. You're all the best fiction writers I've ever met! Love you bunches and owe you my life (or at least the next few years of it J). Thanks again!